3 Things We Googled This Week

By Riley.

Aside from our 5 Things We Talked About This Week post, I figured it was time to expose the humiliating reality that is our browsing history with 3 Things We Googled This Week. The internet is a black hole of information for better or for worse and let’s be honest — we look up weird shit. Sometimes we’re looking for answers to life’s biggest questions, sometimes we’re looking for inspiration… sometimes we’re just looking for advice on whether the three-day old pakora we’ve reheated is about to kill us.

Does translucent powder work as dry shampoo?
I’m not ashamed to say that dry shampoo has become an emotional aid in recent months. When you’ve got a lot of shit going on, the thought of having to wash and dry thick hair is enough to pull a Britney ’07 (Disclaimer: Just googled ‘When did Britney shave her head’ to fact check). Needless to say as soon as I have the week from hell, I run out of dry shampoo and life as I know it crumbles around me. Panicked, I google.

Answer: Yes, it bloody does! Takes a bit more grafting to get rid of the powdery residue, and stings a little to rub £30-a-tub powder into your scalp just to avoid the £3-a-bottle shampoo, but works a treat if you’re a mess like me.

Why is there mould in my plant soil?
OK, I’m curious. How and when do people just suddenly know how to live in harmony alongside plants? If there’s one thing that screams functioning adult, it’s maintaining house plants — and judging by my recent search, I’m obviously still in a transitional period.

Answer: Too much water or too little sunlight. I’m basically over-compensating and neglecting, simultaneously. STORY OF MY LIFE. Apparently you can scrape off the top layer of decay and act like nothing ever happened (STORY OF MY LIFE, PART 2).

Can you get period pains when you’re pregnant?
Having recently broken up with ingesting unnecessary hormones, we’ve binned the pill — and as a thank you, our body has hurled every symptom imaginable at us with force.

Answer: Scrolling four pages deep on mumsnet to a thread from 2008, we can confirm that while you could suffer an array of symptoms likened to the menstrual joys we feel each month, it’s highly unlikely we’d be pregnant while we have a period. Yes, it took us the best part of two hours to be absolutely sure of basic biology. Yes, we’ll check again next month.

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